Day 16

Prayer.  There are times where prayer allows you to climb up in the lap of your heavenly Father and find rest, find love, find peace.  Prayer today was a time of going to my God for comfort, conversation, and stability. 

Out on the edge of the church property I have some places that I go to get away and pray at least during these warmer months.  One particular that I visited today that gives just enough shade to not have sweaty prayer, but far enough away from phones and distractions to find silence.

I needed God today.  And I felt like He was there and listening.  I need His presence today and He gave it to me.  For me His presence isn't some warm fuzzy (although I do know what that is on some occasions), it's not an overly emotional moment either, its just those times of desperation where God reveals Himself with a peace I can't explain.

Today I had a lot of question for God.  Questions about myself, questions about church (not the structure or even the institution).  Church in the sense of what it means to be a believer in a world that isn't our home.  What it means to have this identity in Christ as a common thread among all those who truly believe.  The church...followers of Jesus who are all still in the process of being tranformed by God and dying to self, and trying to do this journey together.  That is my prayer.  that we can travel this road together.  Cheering each other on, supporting one another, loving one another, and being the church to one another.  But, church is messy.  Both in the realm of people and the institution.  I guess it always will be that way, but that thought doesn't make it any easier.  I pray that we can be a place where something so supernatural happens it can't be explained away.  And by supernatural I do not mean signs and wonders, I mean a supernatural event that unfolds as a group of people called the church reach a desperate level in our prayers, where transformation and fruit are the norm and not the exception, where our reflection of Christ's love is so clear, where the phrase, "love one another" is not only spoken but becomes part of our very breathe, where people are so authentic in their lives that people see hope as they see people on this journey lacking perfection, but living and breathing grace.  a place where stories of God's love, conviction, and grace are shared among all generations. Where success isn't defined by anything but the lost being found, lives being transformed by Christ, and believers so madly in love with Jesus, they do not stay the same. 

My heart prays that way, and then I listen.  God if there be some thought in me that is not of you or contradicts your word then convict me and let me know...and then I listen.  I think as much as church may frustrate me, I love the church.  Both the people and the institution and I believe He has huge plans for both that will bring Him glory.  I often pray that God never lets me lose that sensitivity and concern. 

Prayer.  A safe place for me to share my heart with God.  I love that I know He is listening to me...wanting to listen to me.  A safe place to listen to Him.  A safe place for me to let God change me.  Sometimes when He is at work changing me, I resist.  Sometimes I humbly weep as my heart gets transformed yet once again.  But in my Father's lap I welcome it all.

Just being real and a little passionate.

Keith